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A bad relationship is like a disease. It will drain the body of its energy reserves leaving you weaker, dejected and humiliated. Abusive relationships leave behind a trail of victims; heartbroken persons who find it hard to love again. For that reason, you should do everything within your remits to quickly get out of a bad relationship. There is only one way; breaking up with your partner. There exists one problem though; it is easier said than done.

With every passing day, people in love grow a bond stronger. You spend time together, do things together and your life is defined by your partner’s. You seem and feel in sync with your partner’s dreams and aspirations. When this runs for a while, it can get extremely hard to pull out, even when a once sweet relationship turns sour.

Relationships are about give and take. Every good relationship should involve two independent people. When you feel suffocated and the trend changes to give and give, yours is an abusive relationship. An abusive relationship is structured around appeasing one partner. If you need time off to do more of what you like but you occasionally find yourself doing your partners hobbies and especially if the motive is to keep your partner in “good moods”, then that’s a blaring signal. Over dependence on one partner is likely to lead to an abusive relationship particularly if the partner with the upper hand is smart or loves control.

All is not lost. You can turn the tables in your relationship to assume a course that you find suitable. The first step should be talking to your partner about your relationship. Find out whether they value you as much as they do the relationship. You can ask the partner to prove with more than just words if their answer wasn’t satisfactory. Again, you must be aware of how your partner might react when you make this step. Control freaks will most likely feel attacked and may take to drastic measures. A partner who values the relationship will give you room to discuss the discomfort.

It was mentioned earlier on that over dependence leads to abusive relationships. This is the same with any type of relationship. If there are things you can do on your own, and these should be many, don’t wait for your partner. Many people are responsible for handing over their share of control. When one partner is doing everything in the relationship, then they are bound to assume control, which sadly leads to abuse.

Money matters in a relationship can cause major issues. If you find your partner controlling how you spend money, especially if it’s your own money, then you are being manipulated. While you can hold some money together with your partner, handing over your ATMs and cards is not a wise thing to do. It is not selfish keeping your money and spending it, just don’t use it to manipulate your partner’s action. All said and done, you can always cut your losses and make for the exit before it’s too late.
Cager Spencer is a freelance writer, personal growth explorer and a leader of several popular men's relationship and inner wisdom retreats each year. He specializes in relationship advice for men, make her happy.